Gay Commitment Ceremony: What About The Engagement?

Many gay couples are not absolutely sure how to announce their plans, share the news with close people, and what is the best way to call the marriage ceremony and each other.

Gay and lesbian couples wishing to celebrate their relationship of love and commitment hold special ceremonies that are quite similar to heterosexual weddings. If the legislative system is not in favor of a to–be-married gay couple, then some details of the engagement and wedding ceremony are different. For example, the couple does not get a marriage license and a marriage certificate with signatures of a licensed officiant and marriage-witnesses. But it does not mean that the happiness of the spouse, their family and friends, who are delighted to share the joy, is somehow spoilt.

There are many nice ways of telling family and friends about an engagement and wedding ceremony. For every couple the situation is different. A gay-couple should be ready that people may react to the news absolutely differently beginning with great joy as well as anxiety that the ceremony will be publicly lit. Of course it is much easier when family members approve of the decision but unfortunately some couples have to face severe non-acceptance and complete animosity. A good piece of advice here is to stay patient as even strongly negative reaction may later gradually die away. Many families and friends just need more time to gain an understanding of their own true feelings. Sometimes, there may be people who never agree to the union. Anyway, the people close to you should be provided with more opportunities to get used to the news.

Usually, to-be-married couples chose their parents to be told the news first. In case somebody has children, it is a good idea to tell them even before the parents. Young children and teenagers are often greatly sensitive and mostly affected by such important changes. But it is only natural that some gay and lesbian couples make up their mind to tell supportive friends who are able to countenance them even before their parents and children. If you tell real friends first, you will be supported by sharing the news with people who are sure to give their approval. Friends may also offer some great ideas and advice based on their own experience of wedding ceremonies.

In case you have to face a negative reaction, it does not mean that only stereotypes and narrow-mindedness matter here. People close to you often get really concerned about such simple things as your choice of the right partner and inevitable changes as for example your career, education or moving away. Try to listen carefully and understand their reasons to objections before making any conclusions.

Nowadays a vast majority of gay couples choose to refer to same-sex ceremonies as commitment ceremonies but it is not the only way. Some gays think it is great to underline the invariability of their relationship, so they prefer such notions as lifetime commitment or life partnership. The others think that the spiritual aspect of the service is very important - blessing of the union, holy union, love oath or partnership agreement. You can use and any other ideas such as joining ceremony, or uniting ceremony. Or you may just call it a wedding.

Some gay couples may be puzzled how to call each other during the engagement. The traditional form fiancé and fiancée are quite fit. After holding the ceremony, many couples introduce their beloved person as spouse or life partner.

Whatever choices gay couples make considering their marriage ceremony, they should first of all reach mutual understanding in all those seemingly easy questions related to their future as a family.