Gay parentingApr 14, 2008 |
Researches estimated that today nearly one million gays are parents, and about 6 million children grow up in gay families. Some gays choose an adoption, others use alternative reproduction to have a child, some gays have children from their previous heterosexual marriages. If you decided to become a parent, you should know about some difficulties that are likely to appear:
Disapproval from others
People are still not quite comfortable with the idea of gay parenting. Beginning with the issues, concerning reasons why you decided to be a parent, ending with the open confrontation with those, who may say that you have "immoral" way of life and you shouldn't be accepted to raise children. That's not your fault and you have the same wishes and feelings, which urge you to raise children and have a family.
Lack of legal base for gay parenting
Although struggle for social recognition is gradually giving its results, gay parenting remains difficult with many obstacles, including from social institutions: adoption agencies, schools, medical centers and many others.
Gay parents need to have a wide range of legal documents in order to prove their right to be a parent over and over again. In situation when one of the partners has taken legal responsibility for their child, the other may be helpless to make important decisions regarding parenting. Such issues as child's custody after the death of one of the partners, which are automatically settled in heterosexual couples, can become more problematic for gay partners.
Social difficulties for children
Gay parents need to deal with society, where prejudices and prepossession are stronger when it comes to sex orientation. Same-sex couples should be prepared to protect and support their children in overcoming certain difficulties, which may occur in their relationships with peers. Other children may abuse gay couple's child with malicious jokes and insulting names. It is important to know that social recognition is a thing all children get through. But those who are supported by their parents are more confident in coping with such difficulties.
Questionable Gay parenting abilities.
In spite of the fact that there is no evidence that proves that gays are not apt for bringing-up children, other people may continue to search for evidence and fight with gay parenting. Gay parents, just like other couples are not more or less capable of performing their parental duties. Your children have every chance to be as happy, self-confident and socially accepted as any other children.
In most psychological studies one of the primary issues in respect to gay parenting is a problem of gender role development. As it is believed that a child should have a mother and a father sex roles to develop his or her gender identity. In fact, children derive male or female roles from many other models: relatives, friends or neighbors. Your friends and family may also greatly contribute to adequate development of your child.
In spite of all these difficulties gay parents are eager to bring up their children and give them all their warmth and support. They strive for the same right to have a life, not a life-long struggle with people around. Try to weigh all the pros and contras of gay parenting to have a family you really dream about.
