Is my jealousy reasonable?Jun 22, 2007 |
Jealousy is a feeling that is common for all people irrespective of their age, gender and sexual orientation. It is one of the strongest, the most painful and destroying emotions. You do realize that jealousy makes you nervous, prevents you from sleeping at night and in general causes a great deal of discomfort, to say the least of it. At the same time you do understand that this emotion is inevitable, and you do want to know whether your jealousy is groundless or the situation is so that you can justly experience this feeling.
When jealousy is reasonable
Your willingness to understand whether you have just reasons for jealousy is quite natural, as no one wants to experience useless bad emotions. The following information will help you to understand whether your (or your partner's) jealousy is grounded.
His strange behavior. If some considerable and inexplicable changes occurred in the routine of your life, than your suspicions might be grounded. In this situation you have the right to desire an explanation and to let your partner know about your worries. This should be done as soon as any suspicions occurred so as not to aggravate the situation.
Open flirtation. You have the right to be jealous if your partner outrageously flirts with another guy. This shows his bad manners and you have the right to express your dissatisfaction with his behavior and to reproach him. Your partner could be far from intention to insult you and he could hurt you intentionally, in order to make sure you love him. Also he could provoke your jealousy just for entertainment. Whatever reasons for such behavior your partner had he was wrong and he should know about that.
When jealousy is unreasonable?
Jealousy is unreasonable if it is caused only by your feeling of being suspicious and by your lack of self-confidence. Endless questions about the way your partner spends spare time without you, that are asked only because you suspect him of having some other life without you, are insulting. Such questions will destroy your relationships unless you stop being so suspicious. Examining his lingerie in order to find any physical evidences of his unfaithfulness are thoughtless, unless you have doubtless proofs that he cheats on you.
It is very unreasonably to be jealous of your partner's feelings to men whom he knew and whom he loved before he met you. The very fact that he is staying with you now should be enough to be sure he needs you.
If you never express your jealousy, than, perhaps you are a very wise person. However, never let your partner hurt or insult you. Your partner must respect you, as only in this case your relationships will be stable and long-lasting.
